Tell me – what’s the one thing that is worse than locking horns with your spouse or loved one?
It’s the torrent of anger and scorn that builds up inside you afterwards…
It is the most destructive, negative state imaginable in a relationship, don’t you think?
Because you get so caught up in the heat of the moment – and I should know having plenty of practice until…
One day, in the middle of a huge argument with Olya, my wife – was it something she said?
As always, I stormed out of the house in outrage, mostly at myself, making up the perfect things I should have said to prove that I’m right.
So what’s happened, and who’s fault was it in the end?
Could I be one hundred percent right, and her one hundred percent wrong??
No, no way – more likely, we hover somewhere around fifty fifty, give or take…
Then isn’t it true for all conflict, in the most intimate of relationships that you have?
If so, then I must cast aside the whole notion of who’s right and who’s wrong and focus on find a way forward, together.
And if there’s no need to prove myself right and if I genuinely care about finding a way through, then it is I who should make the first step towards resolving it.
Not because I am better, not because I am wrong, but because I care.
It serves me well to this day because that’s what love is – finding ways to bring things out in the open to stop them from getting out of control.
How does this sound to you?
If this is something that makes sense to you, then check out this week’s episode of The Happy YOU where I talk more about how conflict can make relationships stronger:

If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty: