#15 – What To Do When You Start Doubting Yourself

It’s two minutes before my library talk. Tonight I am sharing the three biggest lessons I got from cancer about tackling uncertainty in everyday life. The people waiting and it’s about to start. I run through the main talking points in my head. But what will they think, I wonder? What if they find it shallow? Or dull, which is even worse?

I sat down on the bench, burying my face in my hands. Should I even bother – and will they get me and my message, or think it’s a waste of time? And who am I – just some guy who had cancer… Why would anyone listen to me?

But then I looked up at the world and saw the trees all around me, majestic in their simplicity. I saw it clearly now – this is not about me, it’s about them. This is not a time for me to prove a point or show off, but to bring people up to their own struggle and to celebrate how far they’ve come on their journeys through life. This is why I’m here, to be there for them.

For such a humbling experience it took away the pressure to perform, to act, and instead, it gave me  freedom. Freedom to be myself, to express myself fully and without reserve and to put my audience first. And yet for this insight, I credit my doubts and insecurities who made me question myself, how I see the world and my place in it. Self doubt did the only thing that you can hope for – to grow and move forward on your terms, without looking back!